Getting Stood up by a Guy, with Grace.
Getting stood up by a guy makes you want to find him, curse him the fuck out, and stick needles in a voodoo doll of him! AHHHHH! What makes you the most upset is the compromises you made within yourself to go ahead and take him up on the offer to go out on a date in the first place. Then he stands you up, the nerve of the bastard! Let me tell you a personal story about how getting stood up by a guy doesn’t have to end with you sending him a lengthy “fuck you” text. Instead, it can end with your dignity, and confidence still in tact, and ultimately how you can do it all with grace.
Surprise, surprise, I have been stood up a couple of times by men. Honestly, I never even saw it coming. Both times we went out, had great conversation, and even talked afterward. Then we would set up a second date, and the day of would arrive and he would be no where to be found. I would text, or call a few times, and honestly I would start to get worried. What if something happened to him? Or I would get to running down our date in my head. Ok, so where within our last date did I miss something or do something wrong? When I could come up with no answer on my own, or no answer from him then I would start to get upset. So you’re telling me I did all this prepping, shaving, beautifying, for nothing?!?!?
Deep down I was upset because my exceptions where high of a motherF’r that I did not know. My advice to ladies who do this too, STOP IT! Often times we are told to trust people, and see what they do. No! It’s actually the exact opposite. Trust no one, and see how they earn your trust. When you don’t trust a person then you expect them to do some fucked up shit like ghost you without an explanation. You don’t care, because your feelings are not invested right off the bat.
Instead, ( and I hope this never happens to you again) move on from him with the need of an explanation, or a need to get some type of confirmation from him. He already showed you who the fuck he was when he acted like he couldn’t communicate like a REAL MALE ADULT. He did not respect you, nor did he respect your time. I love to use this analogy if you told him that he could have the “cookie” he would have all the communication skills in the world. Don’t let him play you and act like he doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings, his whereabouts, etc.
It used to piss me off, and the next thing he could expect was a lengthy text but I am a changed woman, and I exude so much grace now! Now my response is… no response at all. Period, pooh! I’m not wasting another minute on trying to figure out why he couldn’t grant me the simple curtesy of “ hey, I’m not going to make it”, or “ I am no longer interested in pursuing you, but I wish you all the best.” So instead, I take the graceful way out, which is to move on to the next one. One man don’t stop this show, at all! There are men lining up, trust and believe he is making room for your prince, sis!
So, the next time that asshole stands you up…what’s that Ariana Grade song again, oh yeah,
PS: These blog post are my candid online diary. They are not edited. I am an english major, and I write technically all the time. This is my break! LOL, love yall!