Dating as a Millennial 90’s Baby!
Millennial dating is hard if you continue to make it so. I was born in the 90’s and grew up in the era seeing movies like Brown Sugar, Soul Food, Poetic Justice and other black romantic dramas that depicted falling in love and dating as laborious. It makes you lose hope in love, and it makes you feel like you’ll never have that life you’ve been dreaming of. You know, the one like at the end of Waist Deep where Meagan Goode and Tyrese defeat all odds, and live on a beach, and life’s dreams and troubles are magically melted away? Yeah, I get goose bumps just thinking about the possibilities. SO, what do we have to do to get some good loving around this BITCH! ( lol)
Taken from Wiffle Gif Website
Well, first things first, we need to start evaluating whether we truly worked on ourselves or not, because our potential new boo should not have to heal us from our traumas. Get that shit fixed before you try to enter into something new. I put a lot of work and responsibility on one of my exes to help heal me from my daddy issues. I wanted him to give me unconditional love, and to always be there, and to be okay with the fact that I was perfectly fine not healing from any of it. What I should’ve been doing was healing myself. Or going to a therapist, because he or none of my other exes deserved to carry that weight around for me, or with me. I appreciate them for it, but honestly once I took the load from them, and healed myself I felt so freed. I am so in tune with myself, my spirit feels aligned, and I feel inner peace. So much so, that other people see it too, and gravitate towards me because of it.
Next, figure out what you want from a mate. The beginning stages of me dating ( years ago) I don’t think I really knew what I wanted from my mate. I knew what my end goal was, which was to get married, be even happier, have another kid, travel with my spouse, but I was not very intentional about who that mate should look like. Prime example, I dated a man with some really great qualities about himself, but he had no ambitions. BUMMER!!!! I need a man with some ambitions honey! You can be nice, and charismatic all you want, but thats not going to help us get to our goals in the long run. So dig deep, and be choosy when you’re dating. REALLY take the time to get to know who that person is, and if their actions align with their goals, and if their goals align with yours.
Date multiple people, if you want to. Some people like to focus on one person at a time, and that is absolutely cool. I’ve personally found that true dating should mean that you have the option to date multiple people if you so choose. My experience has been that the real man for me shows up, and the others start to fade away. The man that I want to be with will make himself present. He will call, text, ask me out, take me out, treat me well and maybe him knowing that he isn’t the only interested party gives him the push to make his presence known, not sure, but I’ve found it works. What I’ve also found is that I stop wasting my time on the fellas who really aren’t interested, because the one whose truly interested occupies my time the most.
Lastly, HAVE SOME DAMN FUN!!! Dating should not be hard and complicated. At the bare minimum its the time to make a new friend. I strongly suggest not making the first date so uptight. Restaurants are no longer my choice for a first date. Let’s go bowling, play some pool, or go to an arcade. I feel that we both end up feeling so much more relaxed, and less nervous. Save the loaded topics for the 3rd or 4th date. If you can’t even have fun together there is no reason to tell homeboy/homegirl all your business.
All right yall, that’s my thoughts for today! Happy Dating!
What do you think? How is the dating life treating you? What dating advice would you give?
PS: These blog post are my candid online diary. They are not edited. I am an english major, and I write technically all the time. This is my break! LOL, love yall!